give it to me BLACK. and STRONG.

there it is ... staring at you, straight in the face, as you fumble your way back to the locker room. you've just spent the last hour of your life trembling uncontrollably in the pursuit of a sexier ass - curling, tucking and pulsing as if your life depended on it. you have two more classes on queue to close out the week. you are diligently becoming the best possible version of yourself. so why are you aaaaaalways stopping at the damn keurig on your way out ? or, better yet, why are you filling that damn cup with equal parts cream and sugar every time ?

it amazes me. COFFEE IS GOOD FOR YOU ! so why fuck it up by adding stuff to it that you dont neeeeeed ? is it because those fancy little caddies of land o' lakes and sugar-in-the-raw that often accompany the k-cups are free ? if so .. then you need to read my previous post about the HIGH cost of FREE food. is it because you don't like the flavor of real coffee ? if so .. then you aughtta just go ahead suck it up. most people will agree that BLACK coffee is an acquired taste. so go acquire it, baybee !

espresso/coffee has about 1 calorie per ounce. that would mean your morning ritual could have as little as 5 calories (or 37 straight up if you guzzle the magic like this croatian honey...) but most people don't consider the calories that come along with those tiny laboratory-created, pre-packaged, flavor-masking, diet-annihilating villains (which, mind you, are always within arms' reach). one single sugar packet ? about 15 calories. one container of half and half ? another 20 calories. even if you only added about one of each, you just turned that healthy lil' cup o' joe into a 40 calorie indulgence. and most people don't stop at one.

let's take a tally :
  • americano/brewed coffee, straight up - 5 calories
  • coffee, lightly sweetened with a touch of cream - 35-80 calories, depending
  • small cappuccino, with 2% - 130 calories
  • regular nonfat latte, lightly sweetened - 175 calories
  • medium caramel frappuccino - 410 calories

oh, the frappucinos ! i hate to break it to ya, sugarlips, but frappuccinos are not a beverage. they are a meal substitute. through and through. ((to put it into perspective, a caramel frap has about the same amount of calories as a double cheeseburger from mcdonalds. now, i loathe mcdonalds. but you get my point. eat 'em or drink 'em ... a calorie is a calorie)) even if you omit the whipped cream, you are still looking at about 280. now, don't get me wrong, i've been known to have my way with the blended treat every-so-often. especially on an exceptionally hot summer day. but having 10-12 per calendar year is a whole hell of a lot different than having 10-12 per month. regulate that sheezy. watch yourself. or, if not, don't act surprised the next time you step on the scale. remember : for every action, there is a reaction. and there is only one thing that can come of drinking your calories to this extent. and it involves buying new clothes - of the larger variety.

even if you are not dieting, the hidden calories will take their toll on your health. get this : if you have just 1 cup of coffee a day, with a touch of cream and sugar, you are consuming 280 extra calories per week. (and that's giving you the benefit of the doubt that you limited to only 1 pckg of each) now let's take that by 52 weeks in a year and BOOM ! you're over 14K annual added calories. that might not sound like a lot ... but trust me, it is. especially if you are not balancing the excess with exercise.

here is a little science for ya : a pound of body fat is equal to about 3,500 calories. that is how many calories you need to burn (and retain as a deficit in relation to your intake) in order to lose a single pound. so if you aren't burning off that cup of "coffee-milk" with a few extra flights of stairs each day - you've just gained almost four pounds in the course of a year. five years later, you're up twenty and wondering what happened. it's unbelievable, really. and if you have ever hit a plateau in your workout/diet regime > it could literally be something as tiny as an extra 40 calories per day that could tip you over the edge.

and i know, i know ... i bet half the people out there who stumble onto this post will be like, "pfffft. i use splenda; i do what i want !" well .... i've got news for you, too, buddy. splenda was originally created in a lab with the sole intention to be used/sold as a pesticide. but then, one day, someone realized that it kinda sorta tasted sweet so they re-marketed it in order to turn a hefty profit. THAT'S RIGHT ! your artificial sweetener is more closely related to the poison DDT than actual sugar. its a chemical. it doesn't have calories because your body doesn't know what to do with it. and as a rule of thumb, anything artificial is BAD for you.

let's put it this way. let's imagine that you just bought yourself an effin maserati. yup. a brand new, shiny, fire-engine-red $140K sports car. (not including taxes) ... it is the pride and joy of your life. you rub it with a daiper like camerons' dad in ferris bueller. you rarely take it out of your garage for fear that a pigeon might shit on it. you keep wallet-sized glamour shots of it in your pocket so you can show it off to your homies at work. now ... keeping that in mind ... would you pour a bucket of sand into its' gas tank ? would you replace the engine oil with melted cherry-flavoured popsicles ? no. and why not ? cause they don't belong there, and you want to protect your investment !

remember : you are your greatest asset. you are more valuable than a maserati. protect yourself. put things into your body that belong there. things that nourish it - not destroy it. if you need a little sweetness in your life : go with actual sugar. or honey. go with something that existed on this planet before chemistry labs. try stevia ... it's an herb. make a goal to wean yourself off of the sugar-dependencies that are crippling our nation. you'll be surprised by how little you actually need sugar/sweetener once you cleanse your body of it.

so back to why coffee is good for you ... here are a couple reasons why should you at least try to "acquire" the taste of BLACK coffee :
  • coffee increases metabolism
  • reduces the risk of type II diabetes
  • reduces the risk of parkinson's disease + certain cancers
  • increases fiber intake
  • prevents acne and improves overall skin health 
  • natural anti-depressant 

now, the above bullet points are just some of the highlights that i've come across over the years. there are a plethora of website/articles/studies out there on coffee and its' potential health benefits vs. hazards. for me, personally, i LOVE coffee. lovie lovie long time. the benefits i've noted are just icing on my cake, i'd be drinkin' it up regardless.

bear in mind that some people react poorly to the caffeinated wonder. so if the thought of coffee has you twitching like a crackhead or bouncing off the walls seven hours past your bedtime, then the benefits listed above probably aren't worth the trouble. but if you are a lover of the bean : you should go BLACK. at least try it. swap that upside-down mocha latte for an americano sometime. who knows, you might like it.
for more coffeeeeeelicious facts, check out CoffeeTalk + WebMD + Sugar Substitutes


  1. I really like your writing style! Just saying :) I drink my coffee straight from the pot as well. It doesn't make me hyper or anything though, so I let my addiction run freely so I drink as many cups as I want :3

    1. Hi and THANKS ... always great to "meet" another coffee lover =)